Damn this writer’s block…

It’s Thursday again and all around there is great panic and consternation as yet again I am stuck.
Thursday’s the day I’m supposed to submit copy for my weekly column with the Trinidad Guardian and as usual I’ve been sitting here all day staring at a blank file. Actually sometimes I’m okay.  Usually this happens when the Prime Minister does something so spectacularly stupid that the venom flows quite freely.
I guess liming in Zurich makes me feel a lot more out of touch with what is going on in Trinidad and by extension the world, than usual. I haven’t really written about my Zurich adventures in my column, I guess because at heart I find it all rather, um, not me.  Of course exactly who ‘me’ is, that’s a discussion for another time when I’m a little further on in the process of figuring it out.
A lot of it is still a deep seated fear that readers couldn’t give two shakes of a rat’s backside what I have to say.  In Trinidad we don’t really have a culture of revolutionary journalism.  There have been writers who have touched me in the newspapers, but to say that we have real voices that stand for something consistently , well I’d be really hard pressed to find an example of such.
Too besides, being a columnist has the potential to descend into a kind of public wank that I hate.  Kind of like blogging.  I guess here I have a lot more carte blanche… i can say what I really feel, most of which is outside of the Guardian’s style rules.
But I am grateful for the space and I can see how my writing has evolved in the three years since I first got the gig. Back then I think I was one of the youngest columnists in the main newspaper, as opposed to being one of those cheesy youth speak out kind of boxes that they usually try to stick young people in.  And I do say some pretty outlandish things in a newspaper that has the reputation for being the most conservative in Trinidad.  Which is not saying very much really.  Because Trinis for the most part are quite conservative but like to give the impression of being leggo beasts.
Hmmm, I actually feel kind of inspired now…