In a moment of procrastination today I was thinking about my life thus far this year, what I’ve been doing and what I’d like to be doing for the rest of year.
New Voices is taking the first real break since last May. Since then we’ve done two seasons which have been huge learning experiences for me, I can’t believe how much I’ve grown since I first started out in the tv thing. The biggest challenge of course was venturing from behind my computer and really putting myself out there in a way that I never had as a writer. I guess it was made a lot easier by the activism stuff, which is taking new and interesting turns now that I’m not using my television time to preach.
It’s wonderful to not have to be doing so much thinking these days…well at least not about television. I’ve been thinking about writing. Different kinds of writing. A book, a couple scripts. I’ve scribbled notes and fantasized wildly about directors I’d like to work with.
I’ve also been working on this, which is mind-blowing in a totally different kind of way. Interacting with parents and teachers in parts of the country that I’ve passed through with NV or to do some guerilla tree planting is exciting but also frustrating. It feels like our children are being forgotten in our manic rush to developed nation status. They are quotas and statistics without faces. To talk to parents and teachers about children they know. Children who are wives, children who have to go and ‘put down a wuk’ to get money to go to school. It scares the broodiness right out of me, it does.
Speaking of broodiness, I still vacillate daily between wanting to go out and get randomly impregnated and wanting to do some kind of tubal ligation to prevent me from ever having to deal with the huge burden of being someone’s mother. Not seeing my nephews everyday however is almost unbearable although they drive me totally crazy, they are exceptional humans who make me hopeful that the species isn’t completely useless…
What’s the point of this post, I wonder…I guess every now and again I need to write down what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Perhaps to reassure me that I’m not completely wasting my life. Perhaps to make a note of all the things I want to be doing but am not. I was talking with someone the other day and I realise that I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing, a little bit of writing, a little bit of television, a little bit of activism. And some yoga in between to keep me sane.
Altogether I don’t think I’m doing to badly, except maybe on the money tip. sheeit. Oh and I’m kind of like, so over Trinidad and all the bullshit I’ve been jonesing for Babylondon in the worst possible way.