I’m not sure if I’m accustomed to it yet. Not having a column to say what’s on my mind.
I gave up my column not for a lack of things to say, but because I put so much of myself into those 800 words every week that there was little else left for any other kinds of writing that I’ve wanted to do since forever.
The future is not as certain as I would like. Now that my flakiness is wearing thin and I realize that, oh shit, I haven’t a parrot on a stick…But the words, the words are there, still in my head. Trying to find ways to come out.
A dear friend from India read my palm the other day and said I am due for some drastic change of direction in my life. I’m looking forward to change, hoping that these movements take me closer to the clarity that all the words, all the words I have written in the past ten years have been reaching for. I still feel that it (whatever it is) is just outside my grasp. I still feel that it is just beyond the next corner.
I guess I have no choice but to keep writing. Keep reaching. Keep hoping that I get there.